Chapter 1: Yes I Can - Self-Determination and Change

"It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are."
- e.e. cummings

What is Self-Determination?

Self-determination is a combination of skills, knowledge, and beliefs you acquire over time that help you to develop goals, to make decisions, and to act independently. By understanding your strengths as well as your limitations, and by having a belief in yourself as being capable and effective, you become a self-determined individual. When acting in a "self-determined" manner, you will have a greater ability to take control of your life and to make changes you decide to make.

Many people who receive mental health services feel like large parts of their lives are no longer their own. They may even feel like they have become their illness or diagnosis, and that few people see the other important and interesting things about them.

Some professionals and family members are hesitant to allow a person to take risks. They may fear that person may be hurt by taking risks. However, it is necessary to take some risks to more fully experience life. Like all other persons, individuals with mental illness need to have both successes and failures as they grow to take responsibility for the choices they make.

Self-determination is not having everything done for you because then you're not learning to do it for yourself. It is not self-determination when everybody makes your decisions for you; tells you where you are going to live; what house you can live in; what neighborhood you can live in; what clothes you should wear; what food you can eat; how much money you can spend, and what you should buy. Self-determination is to grow to be able to lead the way in making your own decisions, with assistance from family, friends, agency staff and case managers.

On the other hand, self-determination doesn't mean you have to do everything yourself. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Making the choice to ask for help is self-determination, too. What people need to realize is that self-determination can be different things to different people. What's important is to focus on the things you can do, what you are good at, and what you like to do.

Self-Determination is the ability for you to:

• Control your life.
• Reach goals you have set.
• Take part fully in the world around you.

Change - Yes I Can!

This Guide will help you to think about your current housing situation and will help you decide if you want to make a housing change, sometime in the future. Change is not always easy and can bring both good and difficult things into your life. One big roadblock to change is fear of what may happen. You'll know you're ready for change when you start to believe that the good things will outweigh the difficult things that change can bring.

The process of change involves four stages:

Stage One: Being unaware or uninterested in the need for a change.

Stage Two: Considering the pros and cons of a change. You will focus on gathering information and weighing the pro's and con's about the change you want to make. Many people stay in this stage for a long time. If this happens to you, don't worry.

Stage Three: Making actual plans for a change by setting tasks and finding tools and resources that will help you. Tell members of your circle of support that you are ready for a change. Reward yourself for small steps you make. Remember that set-backs are common, and aren't a sign that you won't succeed.

Stage Four: Making the change, and getting support and encouragement to maintain the change. Getting peer support can be very useful.

What stage of change are you in?

More Tips about Making a Change

Change is a process, not a one-time event.

Many steps - Making a change in your life usually takes many steps over time, some big and some small. Each step you take, no matter how small, is one step further toward your goal.

Expect set-backs - Just about everyone will have set-backs along the way, no matter how hard they try, or how good their plans. Set-backs are to be expected, and they do not mean that you won't ever be able to reach your goal.

Enjoy your journey - Sticking with your plan won't always be hard. Part of the process should include time for relaxing, having fun, and staying connected with people who give you hope.

Figure out "WHERE YOU ARE" right now.

Don't compare yourself with other people. If you are reading this Guide, you probably are thinking about making some kind of change. You may find that you are not yet fully ready. You may need time to just think about making the change.

Trust your instincts There is NO ONE PATH or right way to change.

Important people in your life may expect you to change when you are not yet ready. TRUST YOURSELF to know when you are ready. Don't let others make your decisions. This is YOUR change and YOUR process. The best way to succeed is to take it slow. You DO NOT need to do everything at once.

Taking care of yourself is important to your success.

You will find it harder to succeed if you neglect your emotional, physical, and spiritual health. Taking care of yourself and staying in touch with the supportive people in your life will set the stage for achieving your goal.

"Courage is like a muscle.
We strengthen it with use." Ruth Gordon

Dealing with Setbacks

"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby."
Ruth Renkel

It is the rare person who won't get discouraged, make mistakes, or have set-backs while making a change or achieving a goal. It's a part of life. Make plans now for how you'll cope when you don't feel good about how things are going. Share how you are feeling with someone in your Circle of Support who believes in you. They can go over your plans and how things have been going to help you figure out what's happening.

Don't be afraid to ask for help. This is why you have a Circle of Support. Most of us lose perspective sometimes, and turning to supportive people can help get us back on track. If things still aren't working out, ask yourself if this goal is still important to you. If not, then this is probably the reason things aren't moving forward as planned.

You may have learned that you're not cut out for living alone. Realizing something like this about yourself is NOT a failure. It's a normal part of learning about yourself as you try new things. You couldn't have known this until you tried it. It may be time to choose a new goal that better fits your new hopes for yourself. This is part of life.

If none of these reasons for being discouraged are true for you, it could just be that you need a break from working on your goal. Knowing when to put this work aside for awhile is as important as pushing yourself to succeed. Just be sure to set a date for when you'll see if you're ready to start working on your goal again.