Chapter 2: Working with My Supports

"There is nothing better than the encouragement of a good friend." ... Katharine Butler Hathaway

My Circle of Support

A Circle of Support refers to your (and everyone's) need to have a network, group, or "circle" of supportive people to help reach daily and life goals.

A Circle of Support is made up of people who:

Believe in you and have hope for you,
Care about what happens to you,
Advocate for you and stick with you when you're not feeling well,
Believe that you can achieve what you want in life.

You choose who will be members of your Circle of Support. These persons may include:

Trusted family members or friends,
Your case manager, therapist, or doctor,
Any other person you like, value, trust, and believe can support you in some way.

Circle Not every member of your Circle of Support may be available to help every time you need them. It is good to include more than a couple persons. Let people already in your Circle know that you would like to add another member. Ask each possible new member and let them know what being a member of your Circle will mean. You can ask as many people as you want to be in your Circle.

Who Are My Current Supporters?

Think about who is currently in your Circle of Support. If you like, write down their names and how they can help you.

Who Else Would I Like in My Circle of Support?

If you would like to add people to your Circle of Support, here are some steps you can take:

Let people already in your Circle of Support know that you would like to add another member to your Circle.
Go ahead and ask a person you know you want in your Circle. Be sure to tell them what being in your Circle means to you. That way they can decide if they will be able to make a commitment to you.
Try to meet new people who may fit into your Circle in the future.

Also remember, your Circle of Support will change as time goes by. New people may come on board and others may leave. This is a part of life. Having good, trusted people in your Circle is an important part of your recovery and will help you along your path to wellness and the life you want.

Raising Difficult Issues with Your Case Manager

We've all had times when we wanted to raise tough issues with a service provider. It can be hard to challenge someone who is Meeting trying to help you, or may appear to have more power than you. It can be difficult to tell someone that you don't like the way your treatment is going or that you'd rather work on different life goals. Still, it is important to express your own views or desires in treatment situations.

This section will help you learn how to bring up tough issues in a way that is non-threatening and allows the other person to hear you. It's important that you make your own needs and desires clear.

When you are ready to have a difficult conversation with a provider, try to do the following things:

Have the discussion during a scheduled meeting.
Speak in respectful, calm, and neutral tones.
Make sure you are talking about the issue and how you are affected.
Focus how you feel, not on what you think the provider feels.
Spend 10% of the time on the problem and 90% on the solution.
Realize that it may take several meetings to come to an agreement.
Have your final agreement put into your treatment plan or in writing.
Ask a family member, friend, or advocate to attend the meeting(s) with you, if that will give you more confidence.

Speaking Remember - you have a right to manage your own life and to be an equal partner in your treatment. This is what self-determination is all about. While it may be tough at times, being honest about who you are and what you need is an important part of your recovery.

Conversation Door-Openers

The following statements are suggestions about how you might open a discussion with your service provider. Each statement allows you to be heard, puts you in control of your treatment, and opens up communication. You don't have to use the exact words or issues listed here.

Finances - "I want to start managing my own money. Would you show me how to set up a monthly budget so that I can control how I spend my money?"

Housing - "I don't like where I'm living right now. I would like to work together to find a better place for me."

Life and Treatment Decisions - "I may have some serious problems, but I can still make good decisions about my life. I need your help in deciding what to do, but I want to be the one who makes the final decisions."

Partnering - "Right now, the treatment goals we have set are not what I want. I want to work toward goals that matter most to me. Let's start working together as partners."

As you think about how to use these "Conversation Door-Openers," remember that they are only suggestions. You can say what you need to fit your own issues and way of talking. A good service provider will want your feedback about how things are going and will welcome your comments

However you decide to handle things, congratulations for being willing to stand up for yourself and shape your own life! This isn't easy for anyone, especially when dealing with sensitive topics. It takes courage to determine your own destiny, and this is a sure sign of your journey on the road to recovery.

Self-Advocating for the Housing I Want

Self-advocacy is the delicate skill of making your needs or desires known in a positive manner. For rent The following suggestions may help as you advocate for yourself:

Be persistent and consistent.
Be assertive not aggressive.
Treat people with dignity and respect and they will respect you.
Never demand, but command politely.
Talk with your case manager about your housing goals and develop the steps needed to get where you want to go. Work together with your case manager to decide if you have the resources and skills to move on from your present situation.
Ask yourself if you know how to take care of yourself in areas such as money management, cooking, cleaning, shopping, doing the laundry, and getting to appointments.
Think about your good points and your strengths, as well as opportunities for growth when developing a plan to move toward more independent living.
State what positive steps you have already taken toward recovery and greater independence.
Talk about your need for different housing and identify people or programs that can help you make a change.

Computer Knowledge is power when advocating for your housing needs. Learn as much as you can about housing, what you must do to meet different housing requirements, and what supports are available to help you reach your housing goal. Use the public library or the Internet. Seek out information and support from consumer and family advocacy groups. Understanding Fair Housing and Landlord/Tenant laws can also be helpful when you advocate for different housing.

Library Plan for and make the best possible use of your PCP meetings. Continue working with your case manager on reaching your housing goals and don't get discouraged if progress is slower than you would like. Remember, advocacy is a skill you can develop. Keep advocating for yourself and you will improve with practice. Remember, freedom and independence requires information and education.